The Art of Appreciation

It was your typical beach side suburb morning – it was sunny, kind of windy but nonetheless a beautiful day. So you do what most people who live there do – going down to the beach to have a coffee.

You walked down the road to the beach and ran into retirees and families taking their dogs or kids, or in some cases both out for a walk. (It was a weekday so the younger generation are all at work or at school) You saw each other at a traffic junction, smiled and greeted each other.

“A beautiful morning isn’t it?”

“Yes it is. That’s why coming down for a coffee” I replied.

“It is good that finally it is warm and summer is coming. The dreadful cold was too much”

I smiled, “True but then we still start complaining it is too hot in a few months’ time”

She laughed, “Yeah you’re about right”

“So enjoy while it is here!” I joked

We laughed and continued with our own business.

But then suddenly something struck me – am I enjoying what I have now? The honest fact was that I went down to the beach to clear my mind. The sea gives me the tranquility I needed to move forward and that’s what I do. But then in the mist of everything did I lose sight of things that I could have appreciated?

I have always been a, what I called “Cautious Optimist”. I attempt to see opportunities in whatever situations I am in and try to make the most out of it. I understand that I cannot control the uncontrollables even though I am a well-known control freak. However, the conversation this morning with this lady reminded me that during the process when I was busily trying to improve the current situation, I might have forgotten to appreciate what the current situation offered to me.

The art of appreciation is one of the hardest things to learn in life for me. I am a person with a vision for my life and I have not stopped trying to attain that vision. But just like a lot of library users, I sometimes fixated on bad experiences and forgot to appreciate the goods that were offered. I admire people who can really appreciate life, as I was never able to fully do that. My parents are well aware of this and have been reminding me to appreciate life while I still can.

A good friend of mine regularly questions me about my never ending anxiety about money and could not understand why I can’t just appreciate the money I currently have and make the most out of it. My usual reply was I needed to prepare for the rainy days and I never believed I am fully prepared for it no matter what because I believe that when it rains it pours. To some that is a bit sad but for me that is security. I still don’t believe that I have sufficient buffer for the rainy days but then at the same time I fully understand like real weather, you can never predict when it would rain.

So the questions remains – if we can’t predict the climate changes in our lives, can we just appreciate the process of living a bit more? The answer is certainly we can. But the fact is some people are talented than I am doing so. I still try to appreciate life and what’s around me to the max, but then when I need to try so hard am I really appreciating it for real? That is the question I do have too.

I still admire people who are carefree and can appreciate life. The truth is sometimes this kind of carefree attitude makes a person more attractive and then better things become attracted to them. This might sound sleazy but it is like the guy who does not intend to pick up usually got picked up in a bar. A try-harder like me could usually just sit there and admire.

This morning’s conversation with this beautiful stranger did strike a chord deep inside me. How much I could change myself to fully master the art of appreciation I don’t know. But certainly I would like to move from the “Try Hard” category to the “Natural” category at some point.