I said those are unwanted thoughts and moments because I don't like them. However being "unwanted" does not mean that they are unnecessary. Depending how you handle it this kind of thoughts and moments could turn out to be something extremely beneficial or could even turn your life around. I grew up learning that I am the only person responsible for my own happiness so naturally I have my own approach to deal with these moments.
A number of people asked me where do I usually find courage to make major decisions in life. I gave up what I established and moved to a different country to start from scratch. I decided to do something completely different to become an actor. I moved out of my old familiar profession to work in completely different fields. I decided to leave comfortable and safe permanent employment to contract works so I can have more time for personal and family matters. To some they are some kamikaze acts. For others the bravery is inspiring. For me it is something I need to do to understand my life and find my happiness.
I do not want to sound proud or arrogant because this is not what a humble life means. I just want my life to be meaningful to me and if I need to deal with all the crap that were thrown at me in these odd decades of years I need to do my best to make myself happy. I don't do drugs and do not believe in the illusion they brought so I have to keep it real. One thing though - no matter how dramatic the changes look to other people, most of the time they are planned and thought through. Risks were assessed to ensure that I could bear the consequences if things did not work out. This is because at the end of the day you cannot expect other people to come and rescue you. This is not me being proud but being pragmatic.
Life has its ups and downs and there is no way we can avoid them. But when we are in the down phase the question is not just "how could we get out of this?" but "how could I make myself happy again". This is because feeling down is more than a mere environmental impact but also an internal and emotional shift. Simply searching for an external objective change would not make you happier and if that objective change failed to satisfy you, you risk being drawn further inside the vortex of disappointment. That said I am not saying objective change will not bring happiness. What I am trying to point out is objective change has to come from your heart so you align the internal and external factors together. That makes it easier for one to get out of tight corners and situations in life.I am no expert in life and I do not intend to pretend to be one. But what I know is I want to be happy and I need to continue to sustain that because life is too short to stay unhappy. Listening to my heart, find out what I what, find out how to achieve it, assess the risk involve, plan my damage control and then go for it is my way to do it. It might not work for others but I do not believe in "there is nothing we can do" when it comes to our own lives. I believe there is always at least one option: to act to change or to just stay unhappy. Objective environments or constrains are objective because they can be changed. It depends on us to act responsibly to go to where we want ourselves to be. Nonetheless do always ask yourself "what would make me most happy at this stage of my life?" so a relevant goal is set for your actions because haphazard actions could lead to further hazards and disappointments. And this would possibly the last thing you want to see happening.
Life is an art itself and it is up to us to paint or sculpt it.
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