The Farplane

9 January 2013 is a weird day. This is the day I received the first printed copy of my new novel from Amazon.com, and it is the same day the news of my grandma’s passing was broken to me.

Grandma has been sick the last few days. According to mum she was still very healthy last week. Then she caught a cold on Friday and suddenly it just spiralled over the weekend into an acute case of pneumonia. From falling sick to her passing, it was just merely 5 days. This is how fragile life is. She was a very strong will woman who would try to get herself out of tight corners no matter what. She had been through the wars, experienced the losses in the Cultural Revolution, and survived several major surgeries and recovered in her elderly years. She had a fall a few months ago again but after physiotherapy she managed to walk again, though not as good as she used to be but at least she managed to get back on her feet. Even during the last moments, mum told me that she was hoping to hold on to see everyone before she went. Her heart beat stopped and then rebooted for a little while again without any help, but she eventually did not manage to get herself out of this tight grip of life this time.

It is really weird. Someone you know just pass away like that. All of a sudden traces of her disappeared permanently in this world. We all know it is a matter of time in the last day or two but it was still hard to swallow the fact that someone whom I knew all my life is now no longer here. I had been to other people’s funeral but attending one for your immediate family would surely be an uneasy task. At the moment I am still dealing with the whole matter hundreds of miles away, but I do not know how I could deal with it up close and personal when I hit home.

Granny was a very sociable and out-going person. Despite dementia started hitting her the last few years, she still tried to get the most out of it. She might be hard to deal with sometimes, but then it was the dementia that actually was affecting her. Sometimes she had no control over what is happening and she felt frustrated she lost those basic controls in her life. Despite me living overseas in the last 10 years or so, every year when I went back to see her, I treasured my time with her as after all she was still a role model of how strong wills and determination can help you live a life you wanted.  Taking care of her in the last few years was not easy and sometimes was quite a challenge. But looking back at this I am glad that I had the opportunity to be with her and spent time with her. For at the end of the day, it is the time you spent with the living that matters.

I was hoping to show her my first published book to her in my next trip but now that is not possible anymore. It was just so much more disappointing that when this goal was within reach and it slipped away like that.

I am sure a lot of family members and family friends will moan the lost of a vibrant and determined woman in the house. My friends always talked about how impressed they were with granny every time they saw her. Granny loved company and I am sure at her funeral all the family and friends will be there to walk the last mile with her.

It sounds cliché but I do believe the impressions she made on other people while she was around will stay on. Nobody wants to see someone’s passing but at the same time we all know that death is something none of us could escape. I wish I could carry on with my granny’s strong will and determination in life as my ultimate tribute to her so she would be proud of me somewhere in the universe when I met my time one day.

This is my tribute to my granny and now I dedicate my book to one of the strongest woman I have met in my life.

I dedicate this book to my beloved granny.

May the Lord be with you