The Real Blah Blah of Blah Blah Blah

Woke up from my afternoon nap on a picture perfect Saturday afternoon outside. I dozed off while watching something on cable TV and it was still on when I woke up. I was pretty tired after a whole week of work and after all the housework and swimming in the morning. As I woke up the TV was showing one of the reunion shows for one of the “Real Housewives” shows. I personally never follow those shows, as they don’t really interest me. At the end of the day why would I want to watch shows about a bunch of ridiculously wealthy women whose face are faker than most Barbie dolls on the shelves? However, that reunion show I accidentally bumped into completely blew me off the water.

You might think is it that good? The answer is no. But it is more dramatic than any of the scripted dramas you can find on any channels. These women from the “Real Housewives of New Jersey” were so feisty that you think you are watching “Daniel inside the Lion Den”. All the accusations, arguments, scheming and betrayals put soaps like “Days of Our Lives” and “Bold and Beautiful” to shame. Certainly these rich New Jersey women were living days of their lives being bold and beautiful but the compound product was just dramas after dramas that choke you to death. While watching it I was wondering how could these women survive that much drama they stirred up within a few months of filming?

However, my accidental encounter of this show got me to think about something else: why are there so many of these shows about the bitchiness of women to each other? And why are there no such shows about the immaturity of men? Doing a bit of research on this topic, the “Real Housewives” series currently has the follow locales: New York City; Orange County; Atlanta; New Jersey; Beverley Hills; Miami; Vancouver; and the latest addition Melbourne. Please feel free to add any more that you know in case I missed out any locations. And on top of that, we have all the modeling shows like “ Next Top Model” and the latest “The Face ”. These so called reality modeling competitions have on different occasions claimed to spark the approval of inappropriate behaviours among these contestants (who are mostly young girls), specifically the bitchy bullying of other contestants. Surely the latest (?) season of American Top Model had included guys in the mix but from the advertising materials it seems it is going to be about the girls drooling all over those six pecks and what lies below it, and in order to achieve that cat fighting among each other (and why is it women’s fighting are cat fights when people named these women “bitches”?).

Surely there was one show about guys called “The A-List New York”. But cast of the show was a bunch of gay guys in New York, not your average straight blokes. So talk about stereotypes on gay guys being the bitchy bunch in the society. I do not know whether this actually improved the image of gay guys or it further cemented the stereotypes.

Maybe someone would argue that straight guys are just not interesting to watch. Maybe but then how would you know if you don’t have a show tested? Just throwing some ideas out there for some stereotypical “reality” shows – what about a show about a bunch of surfer dudes who do nothing most days but training their six packs, surf on the beach and picking up girls along the way? Them fighting over any female being walking into the bar or working at a bar would be good to watch. There could so much action when they throw punches at each other and got thrown out of the bar? What about a show about Rugby players in Australia? People would love to see them training shirtless all the time, hitting on girls or maybe even each other, not to mention getting drunk in the public and putting their contracts on the line. The stress and anxiety they caused on themselves but blaming on the society would be so cool to watch. If we can have “Housewives” shows about their litigations why not a Rugby player show about how many times they got sent to the courts to defend their career because of what they did outside the field? I would prefer to watch these on these shows instead on national news, which for me has no intrinsic social news value at all.

I mean at the end of the day if you have worked in the media long enough you would know that these so-called reality shows are portraying “edited realities” that do not necessarily be the “real thing”. However, what I found disturbing is that these shows seem to perpetuate certain social stereotypes while claiming to show people a “real” side of these participants. Maybe some of the participants do think it is a good opportunity to leverage their “Housewife” career or such, but is it doing the society any good? I doubt so. But then in a world about ratings and income, who cares about social good? At the end of the day, in this volatile industry, most of the time the good may not prevail.

I think I better shut up.

Oscar, Gender, Sexuality and Ethnicity

Another year of Oscar had come and gone. This year's Oscar managed to celebrate diversity across its major categories. "Gravity", a movie about a female astronaut stranded alone in space took out the Best Dierctor (Alfonso Cuaron) gong. "12 Year a Slave", a movie about an African American in New York being tricked and kidnapped into slavery in the South took home the Best Picture and Best Supporting Actress (Lupita Nyong'o). "Dallas Buyers Clubs", a movie about AIDS and those who tried to survive it scored the Best Actor (Matthew McConauhey) and Best Supporting Actor (Jared Leto) categories. "Blue Jasmine" successfully claimed the golden statue for Cate Blanchett in the Best Actress race.

At their acceptance speeches most of the winners made references to their movies. Jared Leto reminded us of all the people who suffered because of who they are and who they love. Lupita Nyong'o spoke of how her happiness was built on those who suffered for her in the past. Cate Blanchett stood up to movies with women as the main character can money because people do want to see them.

While Oscar is and has always been some distant dreams for me, this year I do appreciate the diversity in terms of nominations. If we look at the actresses who were nominated for the best actress category, four out of five were from women-centric movies. "Blue Jasmine" was so. "Philomena" was so. "August: Osage County" was so. And even "Gravity" was so. These female characters were no longer attachments to male leads but they were telling their own stories from their own angles. Some people think Cate Blanchett's speech was over-whining but was it so? Or are the criticisms to this speech just a reflection of some people's determination to maintain the easy common tokenism?

I can't speak for women in films because I am not one of them. However I do regularly hear my actress friends moaning over the restrictions imposed on them in terms of age and looks. Much too often female characters in movies were there as objects of interests for male leads. From time to time their importance were determined by their hotness index. More interestingly when a female character became the centre they usually have past their hot twenties and into their thirties or upward. The ladies in "The Hours" were so, Helen Mirren in "The Queen" was so, "Blue Jasmine" was so, "August: Osage County" was so, "Gravity" was so, Sandra Bullock in "The Blind Side" was so, Julia Roberts in "Erin Brockovich" was so and the list goes on. Otherwise it involves actresses taking up roles that make them beyond recognition to score, such as Hilary Swank in "Boys Don't Cry", Hally Berry in "Monster Balls" and Charlise Theron in "Monsters". It seems that strong female characters that take charge of the plot cannot come from beautiful young actresses. Maybe because the film industry is still an industry about beauty so when beautiful actresses start to age it is the time to start to make them interesting to prolong their shelf life?

This interesting approach also at times applies to sexuality. Many a time actors and actresses were lauded for playing gay, bisexual and transgender characters. They will be praised for being brave and bold for taking up something so opposite to their real life preference. They will be scrutinised at press events as to how they managed to do that. Some of them were even rewarded with a golden statue. However for me they were just doing a job. You get a paycheck so you get it done. You know the terms for the job so you get it done according to the brief. I am not saying their works were not good but I find a bit double standard when openly gay actors do not get the same degree of accolades when they were playing straight characters. Weren't they doing something completely opposite to what they preferred in real life? In that case are their works being scrutinised and appreciated at the same level as their straight counterparts? That is the question I always have when straight actors were being rewarded for playing gay characters. I do appreciate what Jared Leto said at his acceptance speech but I do wonder whether that would change the uneven landscape for actors in terms of their sexuality.

This year "12 Year a Slave" made huge waves across the award season and put racial issues back on the radar again. There is no doubt African American actors have gained quite a bit of respect in recent years. I have huge respect for that in Hollywood. Even actors of other ethnicities are gaining momentum and their playground had become a lot fairer in terms of ethnic diversity in Hollywood. Actors of different ethnic groups are no long playing token stereotype characters in Hollywood. This did not come overnight but it is coming together. The success of films such as "The Help", "The Butler" and "12 Year a Slave" have proven non-Anglo-centric movies do have markets as long as they were done properly. In Australia, the success of movies such as "Rabbit Proof Fence", "Bran Nue Dae" and "The Sapphires" also proved so. However the change of the DVD cover artwork in the States still showed that there is still a degree of conservatism when it comes to relating diversity with sales. As for me my personal experience as an Asian actor in Australia says it all. Things are changing for the better but sometimes you do wonder whether the steps are too slow considering the cultural landscape and actor profiles of Australia had changed so much in the last two decades. Why are new productions like "Wonderland" is still all white considering one of the directors is actually an Asian woman?

This year's Oscar really got me thinking about the changes in Hollywood and the continued yearning for changes in a predominantly straight white male industry in the west. Things are getting better, but is better good enough? That is the question I have in my head.

Because I Am Just A Kindergarten Teacher!

Was catching up with my "How I Met Your Mother" watching the other day. I have never seen Season 8 so bought it the other day when it was on pretty good discount.

In one of the episodes it was revealed the Lily Aldrin (played by Alison Hannigan) stole an extremely expensive ashtray from an art collector simply because he said "you are just a kindergarten teacher" (so what do you know about art?). When her husband Marshall (played by Jason Seagel), who is an environmental lawyer applying to be a judge found out, he confronted her. During the heated argument Marshall asked Lily why was she so upset about the comment, she replied in tears, "Because I am just a kindergarten teacher!". She went on elaborating the disappointment about how she let her dreams of being an artist went because other priorities came up. She did not regret her choices but she regrets giving up her dreams and now the same dream will stay as a distance dream making her feeling unfulfilled for the rest of her life.

Her comment led me to think about my life and some of my friends' lives. A lot of us were brought up and being taught we can do anything when we grow up. We thought and wrote about our ideal jobs and professions when we were kids. If you are in a traditional Chinese family, you would be taught as long as you work hard dreams could become reality. Some of us even made it to the university or vocational training that we hoped for. But then how many of us did make a success from our ideals?

Becoming an actor is what I always wanted. I missed a chance because of family objection when I was young but I was lucky enough to have another chance after I grew up. During the process I get know a lot of other actors and artist friends. We all struggled to get a foothold in the industry but we continued to work hard. Eventually some gave up and went doing something else because life, or as some put, reality kicked in. A lot of time it is because of relationships and family that one must be responsible and be more selfless. This is exactly the case with Lily Aldrin, who gave up art to become a mother. She was happy most of the time until she got reminded about her unfulfilled dreams.

I felt extremely shaken when I watch that scene. While we all tried to be strong on the outside, inevitably there will be moments we feel fragile and exposed with our inadequacies in life. I cannot say that I am happy with where my acting career is going at the moment. But I am grateful I have a caring agent who managed to get occasional work for me so when tax time comes I can still say I am an actor. However I do have moments I thought "I am just something else". I can relate to Lily completely.

Life has ups and downs and so do career. However if you want to be in an art industry as a performer or artist, the chances are probably lows will be more than highs (by this I don't mean getting high on drugs...). However this is still a rewarding industry when your hard work paid off because this is an extremly subjective industry and a lot of time it is not "may the best actor win". Acting is not computer programming where you can run a beta to ensure its success. When I decided to become an actor I was well aware of this. Even teachers at the Theatre School reminded us of this when we graduated. As a result like most actors I have a day job to pay expenses while working hard and waiting for that break that may or may not come. I don't complain about it even at times of frustration because this is how the industry works. However this does not stop those "kindergarten teacher" moments from happening.

For me these moments usually happen when seemingly certain and stable situations became uncertain. When this happens I would think "I wish I were already a constantly working actor...but I am just a (fill in the blanks)" These could be depressing thoughts and sometimes dangerous if you are an artistic person who tend to follow your heart over your mind. However when we think deeper we know that we made certain decisions to become who we are now because we thought in the past this is best for us. For me understanding this helps me to minimise any unnecessary regrets. Is this the perfect recipe for everyone? Absolutely not. We were all trained and brought up in different ways and each of our situation would be different. But I do believe understanding yourself is the key to beat regrets in life.

It hurts to realise your dreams are bettered by reality but the dagger of life won't stab and twist as much if we have a strong defence for our heart - and this comes from self-understanding. That's how I see it.