Who Do We Think We Are?

Had an interesting conversation with mum the other day. I told her I read an article about how some badly behaving Chinese tourists overseas actually became a threat to China’s image internationally. She was pretty fired up with that too being a person who needs to deal with the bullish behaviours of some of these tourists in Hong Kong day in day out. I have elaborated on that in my other article titled “One Country Two People”. However the most interesting part was not this. It was about the source that I got this information from.

When I told her that I got the article from a friend of mine who is not Chinese, she felt really offended. I was bemused by her reaction as I personally did not see any problem with this at all. Her view was that no matter how bad Chinese are behaving overseas, it is a Chinese matter and she does not need a foreign person to tell her. This, according to her is disrespectful and intruding. I told her that I don’t really mind. For me if my people are behaving badly, I would want to know, disregarding the source. Then the most interesting response came through – mum said I did not think this is an issue because I don’t see myself as a Chinese and I think that I am better than others. I was quite astonished by her statement but I couldn’t be bothered to argue as I just simply thought that it is unnecessary. I believe I know who I am and incorrect statements about me from other people are just breezes across the plain, they just come and go.

However, I did think about how we see ourselves. I am genetically Chinese, at least that is what I believe in objectively, but does my view about the whole “Chinese-ism” discount myself as a Chinese in any sense? Mum’s viewpoint was if I don’t care about other people criticising my fellow Chinese I am not Chinese enough. For me, the first thing is, if you don’t want someone to criticise you, don’t do it. Period.  If you did something that warrants criticism, it doesn’t matter where that criticism came from.  Neither should the source of information for you matter.  Putting the whole “Chinese-ism” into the equation was just unnecessary. I felt it absurd that I was branded not Chinese enough simply because I did not mind that it was a local friend who forwarded the information to me.

Having said that, I did think about the differences among Hong Kong Chinese, Macau Chinese, Taiwanese Chinese and Mainland Chinese. We are such a bunch of variety of people that apart from genetically connected, we were socially conditioned in very different ways. I don’t know about other people, but I personally was brought up as a colonial kid. Most of my teachers were expatriates from western countries. I studied Chinese as a language and Chinese History as a discipline. And maybe it comes as a shock to some people, we speak Cantonese in Hong Kong but we write mostly in standard Chinese, which is quite different from our spoken language. So if I am not Chinese enough, that’s probably why. But is that anybody’s fault? Maybe it is history, but then if it is history, we just need to deal with it and admit the difference brought along by it. I am sure that the new generation of Hong Kong Chinese will be different from me now that Hong Kong is part of China again but then that is their business.

This further brought about the issue of how some Chinese parents overseas want their kids to stay “Chinese”. For me an identity is not something that you can externally force onto someone. An identity is something you personally identify with or recognised intuitively. Genetic connection is an objective construct that one can’t shake, but identity is something social and intellectual. At all times these two aspects will need to be balanced by the individual in question. It is not something that some Chinese parents can force on to their kids. They can continue to be these kids’ Tiger Mums and such but at the end of the day it is up to the kids, who need to live their own lives in the society, to find a foothold and identity in the society they are living in. Chinese parents who worried about their kids growing up in Australia would no longer be Chinese because they do not want to learn the language and want to play rugby, are in my opinion, overthinking. They don’t want to learn the language mostly because it is hard (trust me I know) and they could not see the relevance of this language in their lives – most of their friends at school and socially speak English. For me, if they feel the need to learn it, such as for business or career in the future, they would put the hard yards into it.

This also got me to think about the conglomeration of Chinese in certain suburbs. My parents did ask me whether I want to live in the China Town as they have some distance friends there. I told her, if I want to live in the China Town, I would just stay in Hong Kong. For me if I want to live in Australia, I want to integrate and learn about this new country I called home. I have no problem with other Chinese living in the same community as it is quite taunting to live overseas sometimes, and this could be a way to ease into it. But for me if I opt for a new life experience, it has to be a new life experience. Does that make me less Chinese I don’t think so. There was a person whom was an acquaintance I knew through another friend labelling me racist against my own people because I did not want to move to a “Chinese suburb” in Sydney. Obviously we did not stay in touch because there is certainly no need for me to hang out with someone who does not know me at all but would not hesitate making value judgement against my character.

As for who do I think I am, I believe I am the person who I want to be. I would not disregard my genetic built as a Chinese, and I am proud to have that in me. But at the same time I identify myself as an Australian and Hongkongese too. Most importantly, I am someone who is decent and caring to myself and other people, and someone who would not intentionally cause harm to others and the society. I personally think this is a lot more important than many other things.