The Unexpected Journey

Walked the last mile with granny the other day. The service was a very simple but respectful one. We moved her body out from the morgue and the funeral home people took over and made her look like her old self again. At the age of 101 (I thought she was 98 but was informed that she reported herself a few years younger when she fled the war to Hong Kong to make it easier for her to look for jobs) she looked pretty good after her last respectful and professional make up session. It was hard to believe that a once healthy and strong person is now in her eternal sleep.

All her relatives and friends were here to pay their last respect and everyone was trying to keep their emotions in control. A Taoist monk was there to do a bit of chanting, representing a peaceful transition to the eternal world and good afterlife without suffering. Sniffing sounds and running noses scattered across the room but since the chanting was proceeded with everyone’s eyes closed, it helped to minimise an uncontrolled crying outbreak. It was hard for everyone as nobody saw that coming. But then as with all lives, death is inevitable. The polar opposites of all life forms dominate us whether we like it or not.

The service was carried out at a funeral hall in the hospital near the morgue. We chose to do it this way because we believe that this is the simplest and most straightforward way to handle the funeral. We care about the last journey that came unexpectedly, so we wanted everyone who attended to focus on the tribute and to reduce the moaning component as much as possible. Granny, as a happy person who always liked company would prefer to feel the love of everyone than to feel the pain in everyone.

After the funeral service, everyone went to the crematorium with us. As there were a lot of friends and relatives, one of my aunts booked a coach to take everyone over there. As for my family and I, we went with the mini bus that carried granny’s coffin. It is a tradition that the immediate family, or in some cases, the closest person make the last journey to the crematorium with the deceased. At the crematorium, I really felt that the funeral business is a business. Everything was done according to a precisely timed schedule and no one single second was wasted. Maybe this is good or maybe not. I couldn’t really tell as everything happened so quickly there. However, I believe the pressing of the button must be really hard for mum. As the eldest daughter (granny did not have sons), the responsibility of this task rested on her. The pressing of the button was done again with our eyes closed so I did not know how mum did it. But from her description of how she peeked behind the “veil” to find out where did the belt lead to, it seems that she was still pretty clear minded at that time, which I found extremely impressive. Maybe it is in the genes that she is strong too.

The last part of the ceremony involved the sending of granny daily needs through the fire. We had prepared a house, three majong players and a set of majong, two servants and also some furniture and netherworld currency for granny. Granny likes company and majong so we thought that would make her very happy in her afterlife. It is during this part of the ritual that a strange thing happened. Since the items were pretty large, we had to use two chambers to send them all over. However, the second chamber refused to light up no matter what. As the worker was wondering why, a family friend pointed out to the worker that one of the legs from a chair had fallen off during the process (they were all paper arts). The moment the worker picked up that fallen leg and put it into the chamber, the fire lit up and consumed everything within the chamber. It could be coincident it could be not. But I would like to think that granny was with us even up to that moment to make sure that everything was done properly. It made me feel better.

The wake was held at restaurant in the form of a banquet. With the help of one of my aunts, we booked three tables to cater everyone. The food was great and everyone was trying to lift the mood. Although from time to time you could still feel the weight in the air. After all granny was much loved till the end.

This unexpected journey at this particular chapter of my life had made me to re-evaluate a lot of things in my life. I think it is not until you witnessed someone you loved ending his / her journey that you would think about yours. Many decisions in life seemed to be hard but then we still had a chance to make those decisions. However, for people like granny, they had no choice but to face the end of theirs. Looking from this angle I strongly felt that we should feel blessed that we still have a choice to make those decisions for us, no matter how hard they are.

Granny had during her life taught me a lot of life lessons, and she did not fail even till the end of her journey.  Everything she taught me will continue to be something I treasure and remember for the rest of mine.